Thursday, May 24, 2007

I'm Angry with Myself!

I have now officially gained back all the weight I worked so hard to take off over the past couple of months! My eating has been out of control and I can't seem to find the desire to get it back on track. I will keep to my plan for a day or so and then off the plan I go. I know this is an out tune but I can't seem to get myself to stay on track and I don't understand it!!!

I can't seem to come up with good weekly leverages. It just seems like my "willpower" doesn't get me through the week and yes I have been known to "blow-off" the leverage that I have set-up. So obviously, they aren't the correct leverages and don't mean crap to me.

I want to just flip that almighty switch and have the feeling I had last year at this time. I was in the Leanness Lifestyle groove and the weight was dropping fast. I was working and still managing to get my second workouts finished. Now, I will say that my work dynamics have changed: I am now a lead teacher (vs. an assistant teacher) which requires A LOT more home prep work and my daughter is in full day Kindergarten, so in the middle of the afternoon I have to stop everything I'm doing and go back to school and pick her up. Last year, I was on my bike during the time that I now go to pick her up. I'm also taking a night class which has a fair amount of homework. That being said, others manage working full-day jobs and get their workouts finished.

I'm just so frustrated with myself! I know what I'm supposed to do but just can't seem to get it done. I feel like it is affecting my entire life. My house is a mess and I'm not giving my husband the attention he needs or deserves either.

I started this post the other day with plans of adding more - I think I'll end it and move on to another post.

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