Thursday, May 31, 2007

Thank God it is almost Friday!


This week has been really hard because I spent all week clean up my classroom. I have been exhausted!!! But today was finally the end. After the day was over, I took the kids to the pool for the first time this summer. We had a great time and I actually got a chance to swim some laps and boy am I OUT of swimming shape! The pool is a 50 meter pool and I've only ever used a 25 meter pool so it was pretty weird. My foot almost cramped a couple of times too. I was only swimming down and back, mostly so the kids were left unattended, and I was pretty wiped when I got back. It will be interesting to see if I get sore tomorrow. I am definitely going to try to incorporate laps each time we go. I won't be able to do any prolonged lap swimming because I will be alone with the kids and I don't want to leave them alone. I have them sit on the side, out of the water, and I feel bad about that so I won't do anything farther than down and back at one time.
My running has been moving on pretty well. I missed a session on Wednesday because I was absolutely exhausted from cleaning my room and then class on Tuesday night. I was forced to clean up my classroom all by myself this week. I have to say that it did tick me off just a bit (there should have been at least 2 and possibly 3 people) doing the work that I did this week. On top of having to do it all myself, I had the kids with me as well - it is just really hard because the kids get bored and I just didn't have the time to stop and entertain them.
Tomorrow is an off day for my running and I am going to do something that I haven't done in I can't tell you how long. I am going to sleep in! It may be 6am when I get up and I don't care. The point is, I'm not getting up with an alarm and I can't wait!!
Off to plan for tomorrow!

Saturday, May 26, 2007

No More Whining!

I've had enough of myself! I've been making excuses and it is now going to stop. School is finished (inservice days next week) and there is now excuse for not eating right and getting my "stuff" done!

Today has been really good so far. I had a pretty good run this morning: 8ish miles in 1:10 (8:45 pace). I tried having 2 GU gels (one before and one during) for fuel and it seemed to work OK. I had vanilla and chocolate. I wasn't real thrilled with the vanilla but I'm willing to give it one more try before I write it off.

My eating has been good so far and I'm planning on keeping it that way! Off to get some of those jobs finished!

Friday, May 25, 2007

My daughter has officially graduated from Kindergarten

It was a beautiful program today! I don't have any pictures right now but I will try and post some when I get them.

Will sang during the first program and his class was precious. He tends to not sing a whole lot during the programs (he saves his singing for me). But there was one little boy in his class that pretty much ran the show. Unfortunately, he always seemed to start the songs early so the pianist, the teachers and the rest of the class always seemed to be playing catch-up. It was very cute though.

Ally sang in the second program and the whole class did a wonderful job! Then our director spoke and we all said goodbye to Donna (Ally's teacher) and I don't think there was a dry eye in the place. I am going to miss her a lot. She is a wonderful person and teacher!

After the programs were over we had a small party for the graduates and then we went out to lunch (Bill, myself, Ally, Will and my parents). After that we came back to the house to give my Mom her birthday and Mother's day presents. We got her a digital picture frame (I got one too) and it looks really cool!

Off to do some house projects.

Thursday, May 24, 2007

I'm Angry with Myself!

I have now officially gained back all the weight I worked so hard to take off over the past couple of months! My eating has been out of control and I can't seem to find the desire to get it back on track. I will keep to my plan for a day or so and then off the plan I go. I know this is an out tune but I can't seem to get myself to stay on track and I don't understand it!!!



I can't seem to come up with good weekly leverages. It just seems like my "willpower" doesn't get me through the week and yes I have been known to "blow-off" the leverage that I have set-up. So obviously, they aren't the correct leverages and don't mean crap to me.



I want to just flip that almighty switch and have the feeling I had last year at this time. I was in the Leanness Lifestyle groove and the weight was dropping fast. I was working and still managing to get my second workouts finished. Now, I will say that my work dynamics have changed: I am now a lead teacher (vs. an assistant teacher) which requires A LOT more home prep work and my daughter is in full day Kindergarten, so in the middle of the afternoon I have to stop everything I'm doing and go back to school and pick her up. Last year, I was on my bike during the time that I now go to pick her up. I'm also taking a night class which has a fair amount of homework. That being said, others manage working full-day jobs and get their workouts finished.



I'm just so frustrated with myself! I know what I'm supposed to do but just can't seem to get it done. I feel like it is affecting my entire life. My house is a mess and I'm not giving my husband the attention he needs or deserves either.

I started this post the other day with plans of adding more - I think I'll end it and move on to another post.

Just found this video of Coach competing

Way to go Coach - awesome transformation! Leanness Lifestyle is an awesome program and one that everyone can follow. You don't have to desire to be a competetive bodybuilder. You just need to want to become healthier. However, look at the amazing body that you can achieve just by following the Leanness Lifestyle!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i71kCynMUNE

Sunday, May 20, 2007

My competitiveness got the best of me....

......I decided to run the entire race.

It was a great day for a race. I'm not sure what the temperature was at the start but it was in the mid to upper 50's. There was a bit of a breeze - you hardly felt it during some sections of the course and really got smacked in the face in other sections.

This was actually the first year for the 10 mile race. It was run in conjunction with the DE Marathon and a marathon relay. The whole day was run very well. There were food and clothing vendors and a health fair. The marathon is sponsored by the Christiana Care Health System and is actually a fundraiser for them. Overall I was very impressed with the whole day - the medical setup was first rate, the police coverage was awesome, the volunteers were great and the whole thing went very smoothly (everything was kept pretty much on schedule).

As for the race itself, the cannon (and yes it was a small cannon) went off and I jumped about 2 feet in the air but managed to move with the crowd to the start line. My initial goal was to finish in about 1:20 which would put me at about 8m/m but as is the norm for me at the beginning of a race, I shot out with everyone else. I kept telling myself to stay true to my plan and run within myself. Needless to say, when I looked down at my watch and saw a pace of about 6m/m I decided to slow down just a bit. I found someone ahead of me (runner #1146 - don't know his name) and decided to just keep him about 10 yards in front of me. He seemed to have a good pace going and it was working well for me.

I think it was around mile 4 I found myself surging up a hill. It wasn't actually a planned surge, I was just moving my arms and legs and found myself catching up to the runner. I looked at my watch and I was again at about 6m/m, it didn't feel real hard but I knew that I didn't want to try and maintain that pace. Our course then moved from the city streets to the park around the river. It is a beautiful area! We ran along the river until we came to the bridge and boy wasn't that hard to run across. I was really bouncing with all the people going across and it jarred me quite a few times. Shortly after crossing the bridge, near mile 7, I was really starting to feel it. The sun was out and shining brightly and frankly it was starting to get quite warm (no breeze in this section of the course). I was actually entertain ideas of slowing down but I just picked out a person in front of me ( he was wearing a blue shirt and red shorts) and tried to stay with him.

After that section, between mile 7 and 8, the sun went behind some clouds and the running got a bit easier. That is until we got closer to the Riverfront area (close to the start/finish area) - this was one of the areas where the wind was really strong! But, by this time I was closing in on the finish and I really felt like I had a bit left in my tank. I had been able to pull up even with the runner in the blue shirt and now I was pulling away from him. There were another 2 runners (young girls - under 18) who had been running in the same pack I was and they had even more in their tanks because they pulled away from me quite easily. But at this point, I was in the last straight away and I knew I was going to make my time goal and I just kept pushing as hard as I could. I almost caught one of the 2 girls but not quite, I think I was a second behind.

My finishing time was......Gun time 1:16:00 and Chip time 1:15:51. That works out to be a pace of 7:36m/m. Good for 3rd place in my age group! I was the 6th woman to finish and the 21st overall finisher. The trophies they gave out are quite unique, they are bobble-head trophies. They actually look pretty cool! I will put pictures up a little later.

I am thrilled with how I did! I haven't looked it up but I think today's time was just about the same as my 15K race last October and it is a farther distance! The funniest part to the whole day.....remember runner #1146? After the race, he came up to me and thanked me for being his pacer because he had been keeping me within about 10 yards in order to maintain his pace. I just laughed and then told him that I had actually been doing the EXACT same thing to him for the first 4-5 miles. You just never know what is going to happen during the course of a race!

I'm a bit sore right now so I think I'll probably take the day off tomorrow or maybe go for an easy walk. Have a great evening everyone - I will post a link to the results when they are available.

Pre-race: Sunday 5/20/07

I've had my breakfast and have started to get the rest of my stuff together. Yes, the jitters have started. It is a weird feeling to have all my race stuff already. It throws off my timing for when to get there. Plus they will be closing road to get ready for the race so I don't want to wait too long and get caught in that mess. I just like to get myself set and ready nice and early - unfortunately, I don't really like to wait and those 2 things don't go together too well (LOL)!

It also looks like the weather is going to be nice for us. There was the possibility of some scattered storms but I think the whole thing passed on by us overnight. I think the temperature is going to be nice as well.

Off to finish my prep. More details later!

Saturday, May 19, 2007

Have I found an answer......?

I think I may have figured out why I've been feeling so weird about this race. I think my psyche is having trouble reconciling the run/walk technique with my competitiveness. When I run in a race, I've always tried to do my best and shoot for age group wins/placings. Now I've started doing this run/walk technique - I have really loved doing them on my long runs and I think it will be a necessity for this first marathon where my goal is to just finish. If, after the MCM, I decide to continue to run in marathons, one of my goals may be to run the whole thing and then eventually finish by a certain time, shoot for PRs etc. But for this first one it is just to finish and I think my brain will be OK with that technique during the race but for this one I'm struggling. I know I can run 10 miles and I always love to shoot for age group runs in my 15K in the fall (not all that much different in distance) so I think my head wants to do the same for this race. I'm actually thinking about combining the 2 attitudes: run the first half of the course using the run/walk technique and then for the last half of the race try to run it straight and see what time I can get. I'm just going to see how I feel tomorrow and go with it!

I was able to sit down and talk with Donna yesterday about Tim. The more I learn about what happened to him, the more it scares me. He has a condition called Primary Antiphospholipid Syndrome (PAPS) which is also called Hughes Syndrome. Basically what happens is the body produces antibodies that attach themselves to the fat cells in the body (the phospholipids) and together they cause clots to form in the body. The clots can form anywhere - his formed near his heart so he had a heart attack. It could have just as easily formed in his brain and he could have had a stroke. He was healthy and took great care of himself - he had no control over the situation. He was a ticking time bomb and never knew it. There are tests to check for the antibodies but, especially when there aren't any symptoms, it isn't something anyone would ever think to check for. Now that they know he has the condition, it is treatable but because of the damage it caused over the years, he needed the new heart and has all sorts of other problems to deal with. He is a very amazing person and I think I'm going to get a chance to meet him in a couple of weeks. I am VERY excited about that - I will also gather up more details about him and post that at a later date.

I'm (with the help of friends and family) coming up with many great ideas on how to raise money. I don't really know how many people actually read my blog, but if anyone out there reads this and is interested in helping Tim's cause please feel free to contact me and let me know. I will be creating a bank account under a name like "Run for Tim" so no one will have to worry about me keeping the money. That is actually something that has been worrying me - I don't want people to be afraid that I'm just going to take this money. Tim needs it so badly and I just want to help! I'm thinking about making some silicone bracelets and selling them as well as making up some T-shirts. The idea for the T-shirt is twofold - for those willing to donate a certain amount (haven't set the amount yet) they will get their names on the back of the shirt and receive a shirt and those that can't quite manage that level could just buy a basic shirt. No designs have been created or finalized yet but I'm excited about the idea (both of them).

I made Julie B's brownies yesterday and she was right they are AMAZING! They are most definitely going into the end of year gift packs. I'm stopping at a supply store today to get boxes and then will get them packaged up and out of the house as soon as I can! I can't imagine how many calories are in each piece - truth is, I don't want to know (LOL)!! The recipe says it makes 20 big brownies but I am cutting them up into little pieces because they are unbelievably rich and sweet.

I'm also going to pick up my race packet today. This is actually the first race that I will pick up the packet before the day of the race - just something else to add to the newness of the situation. I'm also taking my daughter to a birthday party today. She was invited to a roller skating party. Finally, my husband needs to go into work for a while in the early evening (I may have to leave the party a touch early in order to get home). Not really the nice restful day I would have planned on the day before a long race. But it is life and I love it!

Until tomorrow!

Thursday, May 17, 2007

Thursday 5/17/07

Today was a pretty average day. I went out for a nice easy 3 mile run (only ran about 2.6 because of a bathroom stop). It actually felt a bit empty, probably because I had a purpose during the tempo run and none here. It is nice when you can just let your mind wonder (and my mind was on Tim and all the things I want to do with the fundraiser) but it just didn't feel "right". I don't mean to say that it was a bad run because I felt good during the whole run. It was just a mental thing.

Tomorrow is a rest day and I think I'm going to do just that. Sometimes I will do a cross-training session on my rest days but with the race on Sunday, I think I rest today and maybe go out for a walk on Saturday. I'm getting excited about Sunday but nervous at the same time. It's weird because I've run 15Ks before without any problem - so what makes this race any different? I know I'm in great shape so that isn't the reason. I guess it is because I'm going to use the run-walk technique but that isn't going to stop me from finishing it would only make it easier. I don't know! Maybe it is just because so much is going on in my life right now that I'm worrying about anything and everything.

Off to plan for tomorrow - going to make the brownie recipe that Julie B. posted in her blog tomorrow. If it turns out well (and I know it will) I'm going to put it in my end of school year gifts.

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Wednesday 5/16/07

I had a great run this morning! It was a 35 minute Tempo run - I did 10 minutes warm-up, 15 minute run and 10 minute cool down. I covered 4.5 miles and I was consistently in the 7 - 8 m/m range during the run part of the workout. The overall pace was 8:16m/m. I will say that my legs were feeling a bit tired after the run (while I was making breakfast and getting ready for school etc.). But have felt better as the day has progressed.

I went to a women's sports store and bought a new pair of running shoes today. I realized that my current pair has well over 300 miles on them. I will be using both sets of shoes for a little while. Then when the next version of the Asics Gel-Cumulus comes out I will try to get this earlier model at a discounted price.

After I got my shoes, Will and I stopped at a park and walked/ran on some trails. He has amazing amounts of energy! I can't believe how well he handles those types of activities, especially considering he is only 4. I'm really looking forward to being able to take the kids to the parks during the day (after school lets out). They both seem to love walking on the trails so I want to encourage it as much as I can!

Time to go pick up Ally from school!

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Tuesday 5/15/07

Things are going well with my training and my eating. Yesterday was a "perfect" day! I was able to do a Cardio Coach workout and I followed my nutrition plan to a tee.

Today was a 3.5 mile run. I was a bit tired when I got up this morning which is normal because I'm up late Monday nights. I've really enjoyed the class I'm taking, and have learned a great deal, but boy does it wear me out on Tuesday mornings. However, I did get myself out and had a good run. I went 3.8 miles and ran it at a pace of 8:30m/m

Today was also our last gym day of the school year. I can't believe that we only have a little more than a week left of school. My little girl will be graduating from the school (our school goes through kindergarten) - I'll have to put her on a bus next year and send her to a different school. I'm not sure how I'm going to deal with that but I'll just take it one step at a time.

Speaking of one step at a time, my 10 miler is just 5 days away. I'm really looking forward to it! Packet pick-up starts Saturday at 11am and the race begins at 7:10am on Sunday (the marathon starts at 7am). Even as I sit here ant write about it, the nerves start to tingle. I am going to use the run/walk technique but I'm also going to try and push the pace while I'm running. I think I'll use a Gatorade and water combo for fuel during the race. I've had GU once but I don't want to risk it messing with my stomach during the race. My goal for the race to to maintain 8m/m and finish in a time of 1:20:00. Last October, I ran the 15K at a 7:30m/m pace so I think the 8 is doable. Only time will tell.......until tomorrow!

Sunday, May 13, 2007

Sunday 5/13/07

Happy Mother's Day to all those Moms out there!

I had a great day yesterday playing with the kids in the pool (at a birthday party). They have progressed a lot since the start of last summer. I can't wait to get them to the pool this year and start their swim lessons. I have no doubt that they will be little fish by the end of the summer!

All the playing in the pool really took its toll though - I was exhausted last night! I was in bed at 9pm and pretty much fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow. I got up this morning as usual but it was raining and I was still pretty tired. So, I laid down on the sofa for about 2 hours and then got up and did my run. I went about 3.5 miles and my pace was 8:12m/m. I felt like a really easy pace so I was surprised to see the 8:12 when I was finished - it just didn't feel like I was going that fast.

I'm really looking forward to next weekend. I will pick up my race packet on Saturday and then the race begins at 7:10 am. I am going to stick to my workout plan for the beginning of the week but I'm not sure how I will alter the end of the week. I will be doing either some easy runs or maybe some cross-training. I'll just see how it goes.

Bill got called out for an emergency this morning (at work) so I'm not sure what the rest of the day will be like. I was hoping to go out for lunch but I don't think he is going to be home in time. I guess the kids and I will just eat here. If I don't hear from him soon I may go out and run some errands - it is a beautiful day and I don't really feel like sitting inside all day!

Saturday, May 12, 2007

Saturday 5/12/07

I ran 9+ miles today and feel pretty good about the session. My pace was about 8:25m/m and it took me about 1:15 to finish the workout. My knees are a bit creaky this afternoon but overall I feel good. I'm about to take the kids to a birthday party at a pool. I'm hoping to be able to get in with the kids and work my legs out a bit - we'll just have to see how it goes.

Food hasn't been so good the past couple of days and I really need to get back on track. I made my weight goal and my head then tells my body to "celebrate" with a piece of junk. It has happened to me before. I don't want to let it get out of hand! I will also be able to get in some extra cross-training soon. There is only a couple more weeks of school and then we will be able to get to the pool and add in some extra bike workouts.

Off to the birthday party!

Wednesday, May 09, 2007

I'M IN - IT'S OFFICIAL!!!

I'm entered into the Marine Corp Maration!

I am so excited about this - I don't think I ever thought I would actually ever do a marathon but thanks to Kat for giving me a little nudge I am now going to realize a dream!

It is also giving me the chance to help someone in need. Which makes it all the more special!!

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

Tuesday 5/8/07

This past weekend was not a fun one. I ended up working my tail off doing homework for class and finishing projects for our Spring Arts Night at school. The worst part was trying to finish one of my homework assignments because I didn't really understand the homework. I worked on it for hours (and I'm not exaggerating) and I still don't think I did it right. At least everyone, in my class, seemed to be equally confused and frustrated. I didn't feel quite as "stupid" when I found out that everyone was struggling.

I didn't realize just how much of an energy drain it was to go through that sort of process. It gives you a look into the world of those that deal with those types of feeling on a daily basis. I was so drained on Monday morning that I did not even exercise. I got up to do it but just couldn't get out the door. Then it was a long day of school and then class in the evening. However, I did get out this morning for a run. It felt really good and started my day off on the right foot.

I'm taking my son to the opthamologist in about 30 minutes. I think he has a sty on his eye lid but it has been acting weird so our family MD suggested we go to an opthamologist. It seems to be coming to a head at this point so I'm hoping it will clear up soon. The good part is that it has really seemed to bother him at all. I just want to get some answers.

Then tonight is Tball. We just got the kids a new bat so I think they will be really excited to use it. We did a bit of hitting in the back yard over the weekend and both the kids did really well. I'll be interested to see how they do when using the T (we were tossing the ball to the kids this weekend).

Times up until next time!

Sunday, May 06, 2007

Sunday 5/6/07

I have to admit that I'm a touch bummed this morning. Yesterday was a great day! I had an awesome run and my eating was pretty good. I did have a dinner that was high in sodium so I'm thinking that it was the culprit. I really thought I would make my goal weight this morning but it actually went up a .5 pound. Realistically, I know it is water weight and I'm not overly concerned about it - I was just really excited about the day yesterday and thought I would be at goal today. Such is life, I just have to drink a boat load of water today and just keep on - keepin' on!

On the good side, I got out for my run this morning and my legs felt pretty good. I didn't feel overly tired or sluggish which I think is a good sign that I'm not progressing too fast.

Today will be a busy work day - lots of projects to get done. Unfortunately, all of it is school related (work school and class school). I still have to finish my homework and then finish some work projects for our Spring Arts Night. Luckily, Bill is taking Will to his birthday party and I will have some time to get stuff done. I had originally wanted to take Ally out and do something special but I realised last night that I have A LOT to get finished today AND when I woke up this morning a cold front had moved in and has really kicked up the wind. I don't think we would be very comfortable doing things outside today.

Speaking of birthday parties - I have take my kids to more birthday parties in the last month or so, than I think I attended in my entire life! Everybody has a lot of fun but it takes up a great deal of time and it is getting a touch expensive. Just a bit of a rant!

Off to start my busy day with a childless (my children that is) church service. I'm really looking forward to the quiet time with the Lord - hard to do with the kids sitting next to me trying to get my attention all the time.

Saturday, May 05, 2007

Saturday 5/5/07

I had a great run this morning. I ran 8.3 miles and felt great (8:30m/m)! There was only one time when I felt like my legs were a little heavy and I know exactly why it happened. At around 5 miles, I stopped to use the bathroom and when I got going again my legs were feeling a bit tired. The sensation went away pretty quickly though.

The weather is great right now for morning running. It was 47 degrees when I got started so I was a bit chilly at the beginning but I'm able to do the entire run in shorts and a long sleeve shirt. I love when I don't have to put on 100 layers just to get out and exercise. The sunrise was beautiful again today. However, the best part was that I saw a red fox. It probably had babies somewhere close because it was MAD at me! I've never heard a fox make any noise and was very surprised to hear it squawk at me - it sounded a lot like a bird. I was actually afraid for a minute that it might charge at me. I was trying to give it lots of space. The whole incident went off without incident though and boy did it give me a boost - it is very cool to see nature out and about. We (humans) are spreading out so much that seeing things like that have become such a rarity.

Well off to do the rest of my day - I think I'm heading out the door to have a catch with my daughter!

Thursday, May 03, 2007

Thursday 5/3/07 & Friday 5/4/07

My legs are starting to feel the fatigue of this week (21.2 miles since Saturday). Tomorrow is a non-running day and I think I will enjoy it. I will probably not exercise in the am and then just do some easy biking in the afternoon. I still have a weight loss goal to reach so I don't want to completely stop exercising but it will definitely be an easy day tomorrow. Saturday is my scheduled long run and I'm shooting for between 7 & 8 miles.

It was definitely a struggle to get out the door this morning but between the weight loss goal and keeping Tim in my thoughts, I was able to get out.

I actually started this entry on Thursday morning and then never got back to it - oh well! Today was supposed to be a rest day and it was pretty much an easy day. I was able to get on the bike for a nice easy spin for about 25 minutes. Tomorrow will be different though! It is my long run day so it will be out the door a little after 5am to go to my Saturday morning path. I have really come to look forward to those runs. I love running and watching the sun start to come up - seeing all the different colors in the sky is just amazing!

It's funny, just last year I was almost afraid to do a run that was in the 8 mile range - and even thinking about a marathon was TOTALLY out of the question. It is amazing how much your body and mind can change in the course of a year. I guess that is the whole point - always striving to push yourself to something new. It doesn't have to be huge like an ultra marathon, it just has to be something new and different and challenging to you.

Wednesday, May 02, 2007

Wednesday 5/2/07 - Plus

Today was a really good day. We went on a field trip to a theatre today and the kids loved it. There was lots of singing and dancing and they introduced the kids to some really great stories (me too). I don't know which the kids loved more though - the show or the bus ride.

My workouts were also good today. I had my run this morning and then I was also able to get in two 20 minute bike sessions. I'm into crunch time and I have just a touch more weight to lose so that my check doesn't get sent to "the vile" organization next Wednesday. I am also still getting A LOT of inspiration by just thinking about "Running for Tim". I just know this is the right thing to do and because of that fact, I know that I will get into the race. Just 1 more week and I'll know for sure - I'm getting excited just thinking about it.

My director is also going to bring my idea to the church board (our school is sponsored by a Lutheran Church). Any time we want to ask people to help with something like this, we need to ask their permission first. I don't think I'll have any trouble getting them to OK it. That will them give me, hopefully, 3 churches to help support the cause (mine, my parent's and school's). I still need to come up with a dollar figure to shoot for. Julie A., if you read this would you give me some input please. I know you were required to raise a certain amount of money but I can't remember how much that was. I want a number that would really help them out but that isn't going to be absolutely impossible to raise. I'm also not going to have much opportunity to do things like auctions and such.

Well, I guess that is it for today. I'm scheduled for a 3 mile run in the morning. Here's to seeing more weight loss!!

Wednesday 5/2/07

I'm going to try and get back on later with a more detailed post but I'm just excited to say that this week has been going GREAT! My running has felt really good (but my legs are a bit tired this morning), my eating has been MUCH better and the weight has been steadily dropping.

I'm feeling really good!!