Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Wednesday 2/21/07

Something happened today that told me I'm getting back into a good groove. I have had one of those nights where you get so mad and frustrated that all you want to do is curl up with a nice bag of junk food and eat the whole thing. However, I did not succumb to this feeling! Instead, I went out to my bike and did my Cardio Coach workout. This act is very good for me - I also gave up sweets for Lent so sitting down with the junk was not an option.

Here is a question though: why can I give up sweets for Lent, without much difficulty, but during the rest of the year I struggle to go 1 day without the junk? I don't understand it.

Well time is short and I have lots to do.

Friday, February 16, 2007

My New Team Has Started!

I joined a team over at LL - the teams can be a great motivator because there is lots of support. There is also the responsibility to not let your team down. The team leader actually wrote and posted a team contract which I thought was a great idea. I printed it out just to remind myself of the promises I gave when I signed up for the team. Too many people make promises with no intention of keeping them - I don't intend to be one of those people. I promised to be a part of this team so I will:
  1. Do my absolute best to stay on plan every day.
  2. Take responsibility for my own actions and not make excuses.
  3. Be honest and give support to my teammates and cheer their success as they will do the same for me.
  4. Not drop out!!

The team started yesterday and so far I've had 2 good days (today isn't over but I DO NOT plan on messing it up). I've had to deal with some bad weather (ice/snow storm so no outside exercising) but yesterday I completed and hour exercise tape and today I've completed my lifting session. I still want to get in about 30 minutes of CV, which I will do shortly.

I'm feeling better about things right now. My attitude has been better - I'm afraid it is still going to be a battle for a while but I'm hoping that by being on the team I will have the extra motivation that will get the ball rolling. I honestly believe that if I can get a couple of really good weeks under my belt, I will get into a good groove and be able to follow through with all my plans. I really need to make sure to keep the crap out of my diet and do a bit of a detox on my system. It wouldn't surprise me in the least if that was a huge part of my overall problem.

Here's to an awesome day 2 of our LL team!

Sunday, February 11, 2007

Change in Focus!

I've continued to try and evaluate what in the world has been going on with myself. It really isn't like me to be in a funk this long. What I came up with is that everything started spiraling out of control when I tried to back off on my distance running in order to try and build more muscle. When that is occurring, a different mindset is needed in regards to food. When I try to make this switch, something in my brain tells me that I can eat anything and everything I want. I know that isn't true but it is still what happens in my head.

What I've decided to do is to get back to what I know I do best - distance running. I'm not going to give up my lifting (still shooting for 3 days per week) but my focus is going to swing back toward the running. I've pulled off 2 10K training programs from Hal Higdon's site. One of them is an intermediate program and the other is an advanced program. I think I'm going to do them back to back (intermediate and then the advanced) which will give me 16 weeks of good consistent mileage.

A friend of mine from LL has spoken about doing a marathon together in the fall. I'm really considering taking her up on that challenge as well. I'm thinking that the 16 weeks of 10K training will give me a good base to then begin the marathon training. My hope is that this whole plan will allow me a nice gradual build up and that it won't wreak too much havoc on my body or my life.

Today was a nice easy 3 mile run with a 3/4 mile walking cool down. I was very cold out (16 degrees F) but is felt great to not only get out and run but to also know that I have a plan. Now all I have to do is work the plan and I'll reach my goal.

It feels really good to know that I have a plan and some direction again. When I started my muscle building phase I thought I had a good plan but when I look back I now have to wonder....but, at least for now I feel like I have focus and purpose and that is an awesome feeling!

Sunday, February 04, 2007

Enough is Enough! - update

My day has continued to go well. There have been a few times when I saw something that I wanted to eat but I told myself NO! It isn't on your plan and you will stick to the plan!!!!

So far it has worked but I will admit that I'm feeling a bit hungry even though I just finished a meal. It is probably psychological but it feels real enough. However, I am not going to go off plan. I'm taking this one day at a time and today I will not stray. It may seem extreme but I have to break the cycle and if I have even one little bite I just know I will lose control. So here's to the plan and sticking to it!!!!

Enough is Enough!

I've decided that many of my problems have been caused by my head being up my butt. For some strange reason, I've been feeling sorry for myself and not doing the things I need to do. I'm not sure exactly when or why it started and frankly I don't care. The only thing that matters is that I get my butt up off the sofa and do all the things I need to do!!!!

I WILL be journaling every day, I WILL be performing all my exercise sessions, I WILL be planning all my meals and I WILL be sticking to my plan!

One of the excuses that I've been using is lack of time. It is true that I'm quite busy but so are many other people and they are doing what they need to do. One person I truly admire for this type of situation is Julie B who I met over at LL. Julie runs in the ultra distance races and has to put in lots of miles. I'm not quite sure how she does it with a husband and a family. Julie, if you happen to read this, you are an inspiration to me and many others. Oh, just in case anyone was wondering, she doesn't just run these distances, she runs them VERY well. Well enough to have gotten a sponsor last year. Awesome job Julie!!!

Today has been a good day so far. I got out for a run, even though it was only 11 degrees F. It "was only" 3 miles but it felt great! I didn't worry about the pace, I just wanted to get out and do it. I also made a nutrition plan for myself last night and have been sticking with it so far today. My plan is to just take it one day at a time for now. I will worry about setting longer term goals after I get myself back on track. I know I will be signing up for some running races - maybe even a marathon this fall with my friend Katrina.

I will try to post again later updating the rest of the day.

Saturday, February 03, 2007

Week in Review 2/3/07

Well, it was a good week and a bad week. Good in that I got a lot accomplished this week. I was able to get a lot of stuff together for the upcoming month at school, I was able to get all my school assignments finished and I was able to get some of the house straightened up. I've also had a couple of really good conversations with Coach David. He opened my eyes to a few things going on with my life.

The bad part was my exercise and nutrition. I actually lost some weight this week but to be completely honest I'm not feeling very good about my program or my consistency right now. I'm having lots of highs and lows with no in between consistency. I've also come to realize that I'm not really feeling good about myself either. Coach David suggested that I really need to find something for ME because I'm worth it. He is right, I am worth it, but that isn't something that I hear much or say to myself much. I'm trying to come up with something that I can do just for me. Right now I'm leaning toward trying a massage - it is something I've never done and have always wanted to try. If it goes well, I'm going to look into maybe trying to schedule one a week or maybe every other week and then use it for my leverage.

As I said in the beginning - good and bad week. Hopefully it is one that I can learn from and start moving forward in a positive direction. I feel like I've been treading water and going nowhere for a very long time.

Thursday, February 01, 2007

I feel like I'm swimming upstream and not making any progress!

I started taking a class a couple of weeks ago and boy has it really messed up my schedule. The class is on Monday nights and is scheduled to end at 9:30 pm. Now, that may not sound very late but I normally go to bed between 9 and 9:30 each night. This past Monday, we didn't end class until about 9:45 and then I still had to drive home. I have felt exhausted all week. I'm sure it will get better over the next couple of weeks but in the meantime I've been struggling with getting my workouts done.

Overall, I'm just plain frustrated with myself. I've been able to drop my weight a bit over the past few days but I just don't feel good about myself right now. I spoke with Coach, at LL, the other day and he said something that really made me sit up and take notice. We were talking about leveraging and how hard it can be to come up with a good strong leverage. He listed many things that the "normal" woman might engage in and I don't do any of them. They were all things that someone would do just for themselves - make themselves feel better, prettier, more relaxed etc and I don't do any of them. I don't do things for me and it isn't because my husband won't let me or anything like that.

Why doesn't a person do things for themselves? Is it because they, deep down somewhere, don't like themselves? Don't think they deserve it? I always thought I liked myself but now I'm starting to wonder. I could just write this whole thing off and just go do something for me but will that really solve the problem? Is there a problem? Does anyone out there have an answer? Because I'm not sure I do.